1 Year Down

Well Hello!!,

I haven’t update this blog for a long while, or posted on the forum, but regularly check in to have a look.

Well I have completed my 1st year in an IVA and I can not lie it has been a rollercoaster. I have a hard 12 months adjusting to the budget and I still have not managed to get on top of things. I only hope that the next 4 years get easier. I have just completed my review, sending back all of the required information and I am now currently waiting on the outcome, hopefully it won’t be long in coming I don’t expect the payments to raise to much.

I started a new job in September a job in the field I studied at uni, which I am enjoying. I have managed to pass my 6 months probation which is good, I was secretly hoping for a pay rise but no such luck LOL!! I have been told that normally happens after a year. The construction industry in which I now work is really booming at the moment, so the chance of career progression is really good.

Christmas and new year was hard, like I guess it was for many. I felt really bad that I was unable to get my son a Christmas present. But he got so much which totally made up for it, and he totally understood that mummy was finding it hard this year. At 9 years old he really is an understanding and appreciative boy.

I have noticed that there recently have been a lot of programmes on debt lately, it seems that debt in growing as incomes are stagnant and prices are rising. I was thinking of all the money I had borrowed and spent over my time and if I had just saved the money which I used to pay towards credit and made better use of it I could be in a better place right now.

I started my debt journey in 1998, with my first store card at just 18, it was the start of things to come. I really regret saying yes in that store. I managed to get a loan, and then more credit cards and so the cycle began. I even paid off all the credit from a house sale many years ago, but then started it all again shortly after. It is such a shame I have nothing to show for any of it. Yeah I have had nice holidays, bought nice things but really where is it all now.

The other day I got the news that my son’s father is getting married, I may have mentioned before that my son doesn’t really have a relationship with his father, much to his own doing. However, even though we have been apart for 6 almost 7 years this news really upset me. Especially when I am struggling, and he attributed to my debt problem. Indirectly maybe but nonetheless he played a part. It is now really hard seeing him moving on with his life getting married, especially as I am single.

I have so much to say with things that have gone on over the last few months but I must stop there, I need to go to bed LOL……

….apologies for the post I really just had to say what was on my mind. Many thanks for reading, I won’t leave my next post so long next time.

Bye for now…..

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Hi All,

Well the last few weeks have been tough. I started my new job and it has been constant learning, learning new procedures and processes, meeting new people and going to lots of meetings.  I am enjoying it!!!  Hopefully it won’t take to long for me to pick things up. The person who was meant to be training me left as soon as I started and his replacement declined the job, so I’ve been visiting other sites to learn.

All things IVA have been ok. I may have to ask my firm for a payment break, as I won’t get a full months wage this month due to starting part month. Or I may have to make this month a tight month. Which does not help my plan in being up to date by September, I will have to move it out to October. It’s a bit disparaging that 7 months on and I’m not on track, but by next month or before the end of the year I am sure I will be.

I did mention last month that I have joined my residents association. We have our AGM on Thursday and it has been rumored that I may be voted onto the committee as secretary. It would be something good to do, but with the new job and I have a busy time with cake baking coming up. I’m not sure I can take the extra responsibility. I can only hope that no one votes for me LOL! (I should also research that there is no implication with being in an IVA).

Well, I better be going need an early night as I have an early start tomorrow (I’ve been in bed by 10 -10:30pm each night which is early for me, I’m normally up until 1am.

See ya soon!!

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Start of a new journey!!

It has been a busy couple of weeks. I have been helping the residents association organising a few of the summer events, all of which were successful. The coach trip to Bournemouth, was a great success with 3 coaches booked I heard (I didn’t go) it was a great success, which made me feel good, especially after all of the hard work I put in.

My son’s birthday has gone and he thoroughly enjoyed his presents. He got a bit of money which he is saving up for a new console. It’s funny how once they start to understand money they don’t want to spend their own. LOL.

Over the weekend I spent some of my blog of the week prize on some new clothes for my new job, and a few bits for my son for school. My sister kindly got him some clothes for school so that was a saving.

He was due to go back to school on 6th Sept however, due to construction works, their start date has been postpone (twice) now they do not go back until the 11th. Fortunately my cousin who’s daughter is in the same year is on maternity leave, so she is able to look after him until they go back. It couldn’t have come a worst time when starting a new job.

I had my leaving do, at my old job last week. It was petty emotional. I think more so because it is a small company, we are like family. I did shed a tear or two Lol.

So on Monday I start a new career journey. Starting in a role, related to my degree, is great, although I am slightly nervous, I just hope I can meet their expectations. Everyone says I will be great, but even as I write this I’m scared…..I have a serious case of Butterflies.

All things relating to the IVA are OK, in one of my earlier posts I had thought by September I would be all caught up and not be spending areas of my budget catching up. I think that maybe October now, as this month I won’t get a full months pay.  But I am persevering, an IVA is really the best thing I could have done. I still can’t believe I wasted 6 years in an DMP I could have been finished by now. Oh well you live a learn, l believe life is a life long lesson.

Well I better go and get some sleep….until next time…..

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What a week!!


Well what a week it has been!! Winning “blog of the week” was a big surprise…..Still can’t believe it Lol.

This week at work we have been interviewing for my position. Surprisingly we had a huge response, I managed to shortlist to 6 and then only 2 turned up for interview….although only 2 were interviewed it was a hard decision, but we made a decision. My replacement starts on Tuesday almost 2 weeks before I leave as so to give a good handover.

It’s my son’s birthday tomorrow, why are kids so expensive? Last Christmas I bought him a Meep and within 2 months it developed a fault. So I called the company and they gave me a returns code, and told me I could go to a smyths toys store (where I bought it) and get a refund. So I have been putting it off for months, waiting for the newer version to come out. Which it did in June, but it has reduced in price so quickly that it gave me doubts. What if the new one gave as many problems as the first one?  Well after reading some reviews on tablets, I thought I would get a Samsung Tab 2, (which can be used by me also Lol). So I returned his Meep, got my refund of £99.99 and went next door to Argos and got a Samsung tab 2 for £139.99. So his present was just an extra £40.00 pretty good for me. As usually I overspend!!!  I’ve told him any birthday money he gets he can spend on accessories or anything else he wants. All the things I think he likes he tells me I’m wrong, so I’ll leave it to him LOL…..9 going on 19! Gosh!! Lol

He is at play scheme this year during the summer while I’m at work, and I was going to take Monday off until I got my new job offer. Now I’m working it as I will end up owing them a day’s leave and I could do without the cut in pay however small.  I was going to buy him a cake to bring in, but one of the kids has a nut allergy.  And one of the workers said he hasn’t had any of the 4 birthday cakes so far, so I decided to make one. cheaper in the long run, because I bought enough ingredients to make two, 1 for play scheme and 1 for the family.

Last month I was voted in onto the Residents Association, which has been interesting. Well they have decided to arrange a trip to Bournemouth on 31st.  So this weekend I have been selling tickets, and we managed to sell 1 coach full just on Saturday!! I’m off ticket selling duties tomorrow back on for Tuesday. And now the weather is looking up, it looks like it will be a good day for a trip to the seaside.  Also on Saturday 24th they have arranged a Family Fun Day, with a BBQ, face-painting, bouncy castle, and games etc. I will be helping with that also so a few busy weekends ahead, but I do like be busy.

Some new issues within the family this week.  And they actually showed me that with some family members I am only wanted when they need me. No thought for me or my son any other time.  I was talking this over with one of my good friends, and she gave been some good tactics to use (mainly not to answer my phone lol). She knows I get quite depressed, when things go bad. Talking with her brought me back on track and made me get my old CBT notes out.  There are so many techniques which I forget to use when faced with stressful situations, I really should re-visit it all.

Well I think I better go and finish decorating these cakes….

Thanks for reading and I’ll be back soon xx

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My last post even though it was written on 23rd July it took me until tonight to put in the right place. I think I may be getting the hang of this now.

An update on me. I’m not feeling so depressed at the moment and think that this is to do with what has been happening since my last post. There have been some improvements within the family circle which has made life more bearable and after 1 year following my graduation from uni, I have been offered a graduate position. I feel truly lucky and blessed to have been given the opportunity.

My present employers are not too happy about me leaving, I have 1 very understanding boss, the other not so. In actual fact I feel he has been quite mean about the whole thing. But I am doing all I can as so not to leave them hanging high and dry and have even offered to work weekends until my replacement is settled.  I have a hard task ahead of me as they want a replacement who is me, how can I manage that. LOL!!!

Anyway, it’s the summer holidays and my son is at a play scheme during the day. He is having so much fun. I was a little concerned that he may find it hard settling in. The scheme is run in a school not his own and a lot of the children already know each other but he is a sociable boy and has fitted in very well. Plus one of the boys from his cubs goes there so that helps, he has made a whole load of new friends this summer. This has made me so much happier, especially after how I felt towards the end of the school year. (previous post).

We had my mum’s 60th Birthday a couple of weeks ago and I couldn’t give her much, but me and my sister made her a lovely cake in the shape of 60. Everyone said it looked really good and my mum really liked it. The compliments really help lift my mood Lol.

It’s my sister’s birthday on Saturday and she has asked me to make her a chocolate cake, with chocolate sweets all over it. I think a chocolate induce coma is coming on!! Lol

I think I better go now, and try and get some sleep……I’m a bugger for not being able to get up in the mornings…..Lol

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I’m still new to this…..

Hi All,

I hope your well. I haven’t posted on the forum for a while, but I have reading.

This was going to be a post on the forum, but then I saw the length of it and thought I would start a blog. So it’s not the traditional start to a blog, but it is a start.

I probably shouldn’t be bothering you with this, but I feel so down at the moment and reading how everyone especially those who started their IVA journey around the same time as me are getting on so well is really making me feel bad.

Since this IVA started, yes I have felt relief but each month I have struggled, I am 6 months on still trying to catch up with things from before. Like the son’s breakfast club money, my storage payments, and I haven’t been able to budget none at all. How do you all do it?

I don’t think I will be able to get on track until at least September, and it’s so disheartening.

My budget is fine, it is just that all my allowances are being used up for arrears and forever playing catch up with the things I had let go before.

I am slowly creeping back into depression also, as my home and work life are not great not quite suicidal but really thinking what’s the point of stuff, like tidying the house, going to work.  But it has to be done, because it is expected from everyone including family they all want a piece of me but NO support for me.  Thinking of trying to cut my days down at work, as this may help. I finished Uni  last year July and since then have been working in this job full time. But it is a VERY small firm only 5 of us and there isn’t enough work for me for 5 days. I was working 3 days while at uni and even then I was bored through lack of work.  I think also as I’m trying to find a job related to my degree and I’m having no (as are many I know) I feel even more despondent.

But then reducing work will reduce income which will have an effect on my IVA payments. I really do not know what to do!!!

Plus I feel bad for my son, also. He had his school report the other day and you have all these proud parents on Face Book saying how great their kids are doing. But I feel I can’t, I feel proud at him but a let-down in myself.  My son is actually doing brilliantly he is at the levels he should be and above in reading, but the school feel he is SEN (Special education needs) because of his emotional behaviour. He had to see a counsellor last year (he is only 8) that was because of him losing his temper easily in class, and getting emotional at the slightest thing. SO I feel even worse and that I am a crap mother in the fact that my son has depressive/emotional issues which are probably down to me.

Feel like everyone is happy but me and I so feel that I deserve to be happy now….I can honestly say I haven’t been happy for the last 10 years.  I can’t even feel happy around my son, I need to snap out of it. I really should be grateful for the things I do have, but just can’t.

For the post that this was going to be I have digressed, but as it is now a blog entry…..Is it ok??

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